Colorado Winter

This is going to be about 4 post in one....sorry! A few weeks ago we went to Broomfield, Colorado to visit my Grandparents. The weather was very nice...cold and sunny. :o) It snowed a lot a few days before we got there so there was still a lot of snow on the ground. The first day we were there we headed up to the mountains in Estes Park where we did some sledding. We went in the middle of the week so it was not busy at all....only one other family there who had a little boy Presley's age and a 5 month old.

On Thursday, my dad and Jean came in town so we just hung out at home and played in the snow in the backyard. Joey had lots of fun making Presley a snow slide, and Nana Jean had lots of fun making snow angels. lol.

Friday, we headed up to Keystone to do some tubing. However, once we got there we were told that the tubing area was not recommended for children under 4. I was so looking forward to tubing because this place looked unbelievably awesome! Take a look here!!! How fun does that look! AND you don't even have to carry your tube to the top of the hill ;o) Anyhow, we were a little disappointed at first, but then I gave my friend, Melissa a call who lives about 15 minutes from Keystone in Breckenridge. So, we headed over to her new house. We had a great time walking around town and eating lunch with Meese and Carl. Melissa took us to the local sledding hill in town and it was lots of fun! It was a much faster hill than the one in Estes so Presley had to ride down with Joey the whole time. After a little sledding, we headed over to the gondola in town and rode to the top of the mountain. Presley wasn't too sure of the gondola at first, but she loved it once she got used to it. We went to the ski area, had a snack, and watched the local skiers. We also showed Presley all of the little kids in ski school. She was so fascinated and couldn't stop talking about it.

On Saturday, my Aunt Joyce and Uncle Vaughn came up from the farm to visit and celebrate my Grandparent's anniversary. Their anniversary was the day before and everyone went out to lunch to celebrate their 66 years of marriage! What an amazing example they are!
Presley dressed up my grandma's glass dog and then took pictures of it with my iphone....crazy girl! Presley showing off her iphone skills My grandpa loves braiding little girl's hair ;o)

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was wonderful this year! My dad and Jean came up from San Antonio on Tuesday and spent the week with us. We had Thanksgiving dinner at our house for the first time ever and my sisters, step-mom, and I made all of the food.We also tried our hand in making the gravy for the first time this year and it turned out very well.... thanks to Elizabeth! ;o) It was great to have dinner at our house because it allowed for the kids to have plenty of room to run around and play outside while we (the ladies) got everything ready. We have been in this house for about a month now and it is absolutley wonderful having an acre of land to run around on. There is just something about living on a piece of land that is good for the soul.

During the week, we took my dad and Jean for a walk to feed the miniature burros that live down the street from us. Jean fell in love with these little guys and is determined to have one. I am quite certain that my dad will allow this dream of hers to come true.......one day! ;-) Lol.
Here is a quick clip of the little cutie patuties.......now who could resist such a cute little face?

When Hope Becomes Hope-less

There are a few things that are more difficult than others when you have a miscarriage. Loss of hope is a huge part of the agony of a loss early on in pregnancy. From the moment you conceive there is an overwhelming sense of hope. Most women have an immediate attachment the moment they find out they are pregnant. You begin to wonder about the child you are carrying, you find that you have dreams for the child, and you begin to hope for things....like health, an easy pregnancy and delivery. Usually all of that wondering creates a deeper desire to know this child God has entrusted you with. You begin to pray and find that you have desires for this life inside you that only just begun. All of these feelings seem to magnify with each passing day, week, month. It's difficult to miscarry a child, but even harder to miscarry 2, 3, 4 times. I know of friends who have miscarried multiple times and I can not imagine the pain that multiplies with each loss. It's not just the child that dies within you; but the hope, dreams, desires, and the seedlings of love that dies right along with the child that is so heart wrenching. It's especially difficult as time goes on and your due date passes and you see all of the newborns who have just been born surrounding you. Your mind can't help but be taken back to the "what ifs" and the "if only."

When I had my first miscarriage I conceived again 5 months later with little miss Presley. My hope lost was quickly replaced with a hope renewed. However, the timing of my third miscarriage has been the most difficult. It didn't start off difficult, but as time has gone by it seems to be the most heart wrenching. Many times the loss of hope is quickly replaced with a new hope, new dreams, and new desires. Other times that loss of hope is not replaced as quickly as you'd like and you must endure an entire season of loss. I know many women who have had to endure season after season of loss.

Proverbs 13:12 says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when longing is fulfilled, it is the tree of life." So, what do we do when God chooses not to change our circumstances? When our hope is deferred rather than renewed.



As I sat in bed one morning I thought about hope and how we see it as humans...."It has to be more than just a desire, more than just a positive thought or wishful thinking." God speaks of hope in the Bible more times than I count.

My little sister has a friend who sent me a letter quite awhile back. She is one who knows what this loss of hope feels like. I keep her letter in the side pocket of my purse and pull it out to revisit it when my hope becomes hope-less. In this letter she said to me, "take this time to grow in the Lord. Refresh your marriage. Renew your spirit, and know He will bless you in His time." Her words echoed through my mind and awakened my heart to something bigger, something greater. So, I decided to follow her advice and I began to seek the hope for which we have been called. For the past 10 months, I have been keeping a prayer journal, writing down every thought, desire, fear, and hope. And with every writing of a prayer God has revealed himself more and more to me. He has spoken to my heart and has sealed me with a renewed hope and a peace that passes understanding that ultimately comes from Him. I have a hope I've never known... a joyous hope that could not have been known without the experiences He has allowed in my life. To live in hope is to live abundantly in God. This is the Hope that sustains and gives life. For every woman who has ever felt a loss of hope and has never had that hope renewed through changing circumstances, I pray that you may find hope in the One who is the Author of All Hope.


"When hope is infinitesimal, may God increase it, and when hope is deadened, may God enliven it, and when hope is craved may it be found in Christ alone." -Ann Voscamp

I am Thankful....

28. for little purple tutus and blue shoes that find their way into a toddler's daily wardrobe:)

29. for tiny mirrors that capture the true essence of a child's heart
30. for a little girl who finds pure joy in the simplicity of life by dressing up and rockin on her horse
31. for those simple treasures that have the ability to soften the heart....and a stressful moment :)
32. for a healthy daughter who is able to play....and play hard!
33. for every morning that brings good health to me and those I love

Follow Ann Voskamp on her blog at http://www.aholyexperience.com/ and pick up her new free app, "1000 Gifts." Her book has been life changing and so has her blog ;o)

Havin a Swingin Good Time at Our New Place

Fall Fun and Some "Trick and Treat"

Things have finally slowed down this past week and we are all settled in our new home. It took Presley a few days, 5 to be exact, to make the transition from the old house to the new house. She did not like the idea of moving and let me know it just about every minute of every day......"I don't like this house, I don't want to move anymore, I want to go home." It was actually quite heart breaking, but as of today she loves her new home ;o) I have a lot of catching up to do on my blog, but just don't seem to have the time! So, I thought I would just throw all of the fun fall stuff we have been doing into one post ;o)We had Presley's fall party at her school a few weeks ago and it was lots of fun. Initially, I signed up to "help out" at a few of the class parties, but for some reason I am now the one who has been put "in charge" of heading up these class parties. grrrr. Thank goodness for pinterest because I am also the only one who initially signed up to "help out" for teacher appreciation week and now I have been asked to head it up. Double grrrrrr......being on the receiving end of things was so much nicer ;o) ha!On Halloween day, I took Presley around the block for some trick or treating. Joey and his friends were finishing up moving some of our boxes over to the new house so it was just me and Presley. I planned on putting Presley in her candy corn costume, but she decided that she wanted to wear her bumble bee costume. As soon as I put her in it she ran to the mirror in my room and looked at herself for several minutes.When I took her into the backyard to get a few pictures of her all dressed up she started running around the yard yelling, "I'm a bee, I'm a bumble bee, bzzzzzzzzz."I was so sad that Joey missed out on Halloween this year because it was the first year that Presley was really excited about trick or treating. She would knock on the door and say, "trick and treat." Before we left home, I told her to be polite and to always say thank you. After she got her first piece of candy she said thank you to every one who passed her way. We went all the way around the block and she never got tired! She would walk down the sidewalk repeating to herself, "I'm a bee. A bumble bee. I wuv trick and treat."

Oh man, this child just has my heart ;o)

An Enthusiastic Plea...

Presley has a very funny way of trying to get her own way. It doesn't have anything to do with crying....tears are saved for special occasions. Whenever she wants to go somewhere or do something that she thinks will be fun she says it with enthusiasm in her voice. I think she thinks her tone of voice and enthusiasm will convince me that what she says is a great idea ;-) If I reject her idea then she continues to repeat herself, but with more enthusiasm and more hand motions. What I am saying probably doesn't make much sense so have a look at this little video I took of her trying to enthuse her way into my heart....

A Tutu Happy Candy Corn Princess!

This year I made Presley's halloween costume.....well, one of them. ;o) We had a costume swap at MOPS this year so I swapped Presley's costume from last year with a bumble bee costume I found. Usually, we celebrate halloween twice! Lots of the churches in our area do "trunk or treat" or a carnival so we always plan on celebrating with our church and our neighborhood. I found a cute little candy corn hat on pinterest that I wanted to get for Presley so that she could be a candy corn for Halloween this year, but the hat on Etsy was selling for WAYYY to much! So, I put my little sister to work and voila! I had one candy corn hat made for free ;o) I was going to try my hand in sewing the costume part of it, but with all of the move stuff coming up it was just way too time consuming. I looked on Etsy and Amazon for a quick candy corn costume fix, but didn't find anything....not in my price range anyways! I did see quite a few candy corn tutus on Etsy that were selling for $25-$100! Can you believe it? ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS! Ridiculous! So, I decided to search on pinterest ;o) Sure enough, I came across a tutu pattern that I was sure to be able to do on my own in no time at all! SO, after a few tweekings and the blending of two ideas I came out with a candy corn costume for my sweet girl. I found the candy corn tights at Party City on sale for $1.99, a candy corn shirt at "Once Upon a Child" for $2.99, and a pair of black ballet shoes at Old Navy for $4.99. There you have it, folks ;o) A Tutu Happy Candy Corn Princess!

Here is the link to creating your own tutu. I did everything the same except I used one of Presley's fabric headbands like the one below and weaved the tulle to make 3 rows consisting of yellow, orange, and white. Click here for inspiration.

Presley's waist is 17 inches so the headband worked perfectly when it stretched over her waist. For the tutu part, I used 3 different colors of tulle and I cut 16 inch strips for the yellow, 12 inch strips for the orange, and 6 inch strips for the white.

Ring-Around-The-Rosie

This past weekend we celebrated Joey's Grandad's 87th birthday. It was great to get together and see everyone.....especially cousin Cooper, Aunt Christy, and Uncle Lance! Presley is really coming out of her shell and Preschool has done wonders for her confidence. Usually, she needs 30-60 minutes to warm up to everyone, but this time she only needed a few minutes. She had so much fun playing with Cooper! One of Presley's favorite games to play is ring-around-the-rosie. She could play it for hours! :o) After the party, we put presley down for the night. As we were saying our prayers she thanked God for "playing ring-around-the-rosie." ;o) Ah, fun times!

Welcoming Home the Troops

Yesterday afternoon we went to DFW to "Welcome Home the Troops" with our hometeam from church. It was a great experience and a wonderful way to teach the kids about a servent's heart and true heros. It was quite overwhelming, there's so much to be said in the eyes of a soldier. Afterwards, I felt so guilty for never having welcomed them home before. I get so wrapped up in my own life that I fail to see outside my little world.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, the he lay down his life for his friends. -John 15:12-13

In the above video you can see that Every soldier ran to the hands of those who had gone before them.....as it should be ;o)

A Hoarder of Memories

There's a couple of good things that come out of moving......
1- you get completely organized, and
2- you purge yourself of things that have been sitting around your house for years.

I read somewhere that if you don't use an item that you have been saving or an item that you have packed away within a 12 month period then the chances of you ever needing it or using it drops to about 8%.....funny number if you ask me.

Anyhow, I am a hoarder......a hoarder of memories. I keep everything! I have letters from friends from when I was in 6th grade. I don't know why I hold on to memories so tightly, but it might be because I experienced loss and fear of loss at a very young age. Loss has pretty much been a part of shaping my life.

I save pretty much every piece of paper that has writing on it. lol. I have a 100+year old diary that my great great grandmother wrote in when she was a teenager. What can I say.....I love memories. ;o) It's pretty much the only thing that you have, God willing, at the end of a life.

So with all of that said......I have boxes and boxes of letters, video tapes, cassette tapes, and pictures from my past. I realized today that these boxes of memories have gone with me from house to house to house. They have followed me through 8 moves.......and they are about to embark on a 9th move! While I was cleaning out the guest bedroom closet today I briefly thought to myself, "I should throw these away." BUT, then I sat down for a second (or a thousand) and read through some of the memories. I couldn't bring myself to throw away one piece of paper (well, that's not entirely true. I did throw away one of my journals from January 2001-July 2001 because I completely exasperated myself reading it. God's patience is immeasurable......I discovered just how great it is by reading through 2 of my journal entries today. Good-Ness!)

During my re-reading of memories, I came upon a poem that I had framed a few months after my mom passed away. Reading through this poem lead my mind back to the grief I felt so deeply after realizing that she was really gone. I remember, at the time, not having any sense of God's presence. I knew He was there, but I just couldn't "feel" his comfort or peace. I was so consumed with pain and grief that I couldn't really feel anything, but pain. Those of you who have lost a parent at a young age know what I am talking about. I remember feeling like the one person who gave me comfort and peace, my mom, was ripped away from my life and I was left with an empty hollow space. I would love to say that God swept in immediately and filled that emptiness I was feeling. However, it didn't happen....at least not immediately. He was there the entire time and I know that now, but when you are in the midst of grief it is very hard to see Him, the One Who Comforts. As I walked through the journey of grief with my eyes on God, meeting with Him daily, then I began to see Him and "feel" His comfort. The pain and grief I once felt was slowly, but persistently, exchanged for feelings of peace and comfort......that ultimately came from God. It was during those moments of grief and silence that I came upon this poem. I framed it and kept it in my bathroom so that I would keep my eyes on the One who comforts. I had faith that I would be healed from the pain of loss and that God would exchange it for peace. And He did. ;o) Today, as I read through this poem, I was once again filled with a hope worth waiting for.

When The Heavens Appear to Be Silent

When the heavens appear to be silent,
And God seems not to answer at all,
When your cries in the night seem useless,
And God fails to heed your call.

When the prayers you have prayed go unanswered
And doubt and despair fill your heart,
When hopelessness steals into your life
That says: "God isn't doing His part."

Ah, blessed child, your God is at work,
Though ne'er can we see till it's past.
That He, in the silence of angelic hush,
Has carved out your message at last.

When the heavens appear to be silent,
You stand, child, on Holy sod,
And quietly as you but rest in His love
You find then the heart of God.

That's why the heavens are silent:
There is nothing your God cannot do.
But, yet, He has chosen the better part,
Of silently changing you!
-unknown

M.I.A. and Another Pumpkin Patch

Joey and I have been a little stressed (aughhh) to say the least. Selling our house has become quite the chore....and working with our buyers (both sets) has been a little overwhelming at times too. I guess I have been MIA because I have gotten several emails from several friends asking if I am alright or if I am pregnant??? They told me that they were worried because they haven't seen me on facebook lately or seen very many blogs from me. lol. I guess I go MIA when I am pregnant????? Just so you know, I am not pregnant and everything is perfectly fine. We are just up to our eyeballs in boxes and trying to move! I also have not done a very good job of keeping people "in the know" about my personal life. So.......I thought I would do a very quick run down of what has gone on in the last 30 days.

The House:
We put our house on the market after finding a house we liked that we put an offer on.
We got outbid on the house we were interested in and decided to keep our house on the market to "see what would happen."
We got an offer on our house 7 days after putting it on the market, but had a foundation scare and so the buyer pulled out.
Joey and I had a professional come in and look at the foundation and got confirmation that everything is completely fine with our house and it's foundation.
11 days after our first buyer pulled out of the contract we got another buyer. We have gone through all of the inspection and everything is good!
We close on our house October 31st.
We will be moving into a house on an acre of land with a pool in Copper Canyon....about 5 miles north of where we are at now. :o) Yeah, fun times!

The Personal:
I had a doctor's appointment at the end of September and everything looks good. I will have to be on an anticoagulant called Lovenox and then switch over to Heparin at 32 weeks conception. Joey and I met with the doctors and have weighed the risks, pros, and cons of conceiving again. I have felt God tugging at my heart and I am at peace with our decision to try to conceive rather than adopt. It has been a hopeful journey and God has completely spoken to me and given me a peace that passes understanding. I keep a daily prayer journal, have for years, and it is truly amazing to see what God has done and is doing in my life. I would love to share, but it's pretty personal and I don't have it in me to write a blog like that right now. Ha!

The Pumpkin Patch:

On another note, Presley and I went to a lovely pumpkin patch on Monday with Sara, Brian, and the boys. We had a great time. There was a little drama surrounding the entire event and if you would like to read about it then you can click here and get the scoop on Sara's blog. ;o) I will just add one thing...........After Sara and the boys left the pumpkin patch things started to run rather smoothly. ha! All of the rides were going, they had 3 horses up and running for the pony rides, and they opened up the petting zoo of 3 goats and 2 pigs. lol. However, when I say that all of the rides were going ;o) it was because we (the parents) were given the right to start and stop the rides whenever we wanted while the 80 year old man running the rides was off in the porta potty. ;o) And really, we just took the initiative to start and stop the rides after realizing all of the kids were looking a bit cross-eyed from going round-and-round for 10 minutes straight. Can I get a woo-woo!

round and round we go ;o) when we'll stop, nobody knows...

Presley is very proud of the fact that she DOES NOT cry at preschool anymore. She tells everyone and anyone who will listen......including this 2 ft donkey. I had it on film, but all you can hear is the wind rushing by. She left the above conversation with a nice compliment to the donkey informing him that, "donkey, you have big ears."

And so it begins............

'Nuff Said....

Flower Mound Pumpkin Patch 2011

Thursday evening we headed to the Flower Mound Pumpkin Patch. It 's the same one that we have gone to for the past few years. It was nice because the group we went with rented out the patch from 5-7 so it was a very small group. We practically had the entire patch to ourselves. Presley was very engaged the entire time. She went on a hayride, played on the wooden train, jumped in the bounce house, and got her face painted. It was wonderful to see her playing with everyone and enjoying herself.

Having fun on the hayride

Getting her face painted....I was very surprised that she wanted to do this ;o) She hugged every big pumpkinJumping in the jump house....first time she hasn't chickened out!