Blessings

As another loss affects our family, I have been heavy hearted this week. As I sat down this morning to have some much needed quiet time with God I heard a song come over the radio that brought tears to my eyes. It is a song that I had never heard, but the words spoke. It is the song, "Blessings" by Laura Story.
Moments before the song came on I was grieving for, well, pretty much every person in our family that has lost someone this year....and believe me, there has been an enormous amount of loss consuming my family and Joey's family. I was writing down in my journal about my bafflement on the amount of loss there has been, and how this came on the heals of being consumed with blessing after blessing the year before. I read through my blog book from 2009-2010 and was just overwhelmed with the joy our families felt by all of the MANY blessings that God had bestowed on our family that year.

While I was thanking God for that year of blessings, it happened....

that sinking feeling

the overwhelming sense of loss that we have felt this year as a family.
Anger began to fill my soul
the what ifs, the whys, the doubts I've thought but never admitted began to surface.

As I sat for a moment I decided to turn on the radio.....one song was ending and another quickly started. I had never heard the song before, but it captivated me.

What if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You are near?
What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can't satisfy?
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?
.....And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe.

What an awesome God we have that He would have a song reach out and touch me in a moment of time where I was just thinking on the blessings of last year compared to the overwhelming amount of loss we felt from this year......

What if God's blessings come through raindrops? What if the rain, the storms, the hardest nights are God's mercies in disguise?
And all the while He hears and longs that WE WOULD JUST HAVE FAITH TO BELIEVE.